Escape to Paradise: The Greenway Hotel & Spa, UK Awaits
Escape to Paradise: The Greenway Hotel & Spa - My Messy, Honest, and Thrilled Review
Alright, folks, buckle up. You want the real deal on The Greenway Hotel & Spa? Forget those polished, perfectly-lit travel blogs. I’m serving up the messy, the glorious, and the slightly-crazed-with-relaxation truth. This place… this place is something. Let's dive in, shall we?
First Impressions (and a Slight Panic Attack About the "Accessibility" Bit)
Okay, so I'm usually a total whirlwind of "book-it-and-worry-later". But this time, I had to check the accessibility. My Aunt Mildred, bless her heart, needs a bit more pep in her step these days. So, Accessibility was TOP of my list. The website mentioned it, but you know how it goes… pictures can lie! The Greenway's got a good rep, but finding out the hard way is NOT my idea of fun.
I was SO RELIEVED. The elevator? Smooth as silk. The facilities for disabled guests? Clearly thought-out, not just tacked-on. The ease with which Mildred could navigate the common areas, especially the restaurants, gave me serious peace of mind. Finding everything was wheelchair accessible? HUGE win. They even have a car park and offer valet parking, so getting around was a breeze—especially important when you're hauling more luggage than you need (we'll get to that).
The Good Stuff: Spa-tastic Bliss & Food Comas
Let's be honest. This wasn't just a hotel trip; it was a mission. A mission to find a good spa. I was in dire need of an escape, and I'm pretty sure my back was plotting a coup.
The Spa? Oh. My. God. Forget "relaxing"… this was a full-blown Spa/Sauna experience. I’m talking Pool with a view, a Sauna that practically melted away stress, a Steamroom where I considered moving in permanently, and a Foot bath that felt like tiny angels were massaging my weary feet.
And the massages! Pure, unadulterated bliss. I went for the full monty: a Body scrub, a Body wrap… the works. I emerged feeling like a reborn goddess (albeit a goddess who was now incredibly hungry).
Then the food. Oh, the food! Where do I even begin? Okay. Restaurants galore, including a Vegetarian restaurant. I ate like a QUEEN. The A la carte in restaurant menu offered everything from elevated comfort food to gourmet creations. I went through the menu, multiple times. I had a Breakfast [buffet] that was pure joy, a Western breakfast that was top-notch, and even a taste of their Asian cuisine (which was surprisingly brilliant). The coffee/tea in restaurant was a constant companion. And because I couldn’t help myself, there was a Snack bar and a Poolside bar for extra deliciousness. I could have happily spent the entire trip just eating and drinking.
The Room: My Fortress of Comfy
My room was my own perfect little bubble. Seriously, the Air conditioning was a lifesaver (especially after the sauna!), the Blackout curtains meant I could sleep until noon if I wanted, and the bathrobes felt like a warm hug. The Free Wi-Fi worked brilliantly (I'm a news junkie, what can I say?) and the daily housekeeping kept everything pristine. The extra long bed… well, let's just say I didn't want to get out of it. I also appreciated the Safety/security feature and the In-room safe box. You know, for your emergency stash of chocolate. Don't judge.
Little Quirks, Imperfections & Honest Truths
Alright, the Greenway isn't perfect. No place is.
- The Internet was initially a bit…spotty. But the customer service was on point. The staff immediately fixed the issue, with Wi-Fi in all rooms, making it feel like I was in a digital cloud.
- I did stumble across one little detail: Some rooms don't have windows that open, which made me feel a little cooped up.
- A few times I was slightly overwhelmed. So much to do, so many things to experience.
- The rooms come with slippers, which is divine…but I’m a sucker for the little things.
Cleanliness & Safety: Feeling Safe in the Chaos
This is super important, especially these days! I was seriously impressed by their commitment to hygiene. Loads of hand sanitizer everywhere, anti-viral cleaning products, and evidence of daily disinfection in common areas. The staff were also exceptionally well-trained in following safety protocol. They really have gone above and beyond.
The "Things To Do" Bit: Beyond Just Bliss
Okay, so I got a bit lost in the spa (totally worth it), but there is more to do than just soak and eat. There's a Fitness center, which, I'm told, is excellent (I may have just walked past it, quickly, to get to the pool). They also had indoor venues for special events, and from the pictures in the lobby, they look amazing. There's also the surrounding area. They are just outside of Cheltingham, and there's loads to do in the surrounding area.
What About the Kids (and the Babysitting Service)?
The Greenway is family/child friendly! They have a Babysitting service, which could be a lifesaver. However, I didn't have any kids with me, so I can't speak to the specifics.
Getting Around & The Extras
The Car park was a blessing. Plus, the Airport transfer was efficient. And the Concierge was a lifesaver. Needed anything, they were there.
The Verdict? My Soul Soared
This wasn't just a trip; it was a revitalizing experience. The Greenway Hotel & Spa successfully delivered on its promise. The service, spa, food, and overall vibe are top-notch.
The Ultimate Escape to Paradise at the Greenway Hotel & Spa: My Recommendation
I give The Greenway Hotel & Spa a huge thumbs up. Go. Treat yourself. You deserve it.
Alright, here's the messy, imperfect, and potentially-biased-but-totally-genuine offer you’ve all been waiting for:
Escape to Paradise: The Greenway Hotel & Spa - Your Next Luxurious Getaway Awaits!
Are you tired of the same old routine? Do you dream of melting away stress in a world of pure indulgence? Then pack your bags, because The Greenway Hotel & Spa is calling your name!
Here's what awaits you:
- Pure Spa Bliss: Indulge in rejuvenating spa treatments, from deep tissue massages to blissful body wraps. Imagine yourself slipping into the warm waters in the indoor pool while you gaze at the gorgeous view. You deserve it!
- Culinary Delights: Savor exquisite meals at any of the superb restaurants. From sumptuous breakfasts to delectable dinners, your taste buds are in for a treat.
- Unwind in Luxurious Comfort: Sink into a beautifully appointed room, complete with all the modern amenities and a bed that will cradle you into a deep, restful sleep.
- Explore the Surrounding Area: Venture into the Cotswolds or the nearby city of Cheltenham to add outdoor activities to your indoor spa relaxation.
But wait, there's more!
- Accessibility for Everyone: We welcome guests of all abilities with open arms! Our hotel is designed with accessibility in mind and caters to the needs of guests with mobility challenges, ensuring a comfortable and enjoyable stay.
- Peace of Mind with Our Safety Measures: We prioritize your well-being, which is why we provide all the sanitation measures.
Bonus Offer:
- Book your stay within the next [Insert Time Frame, e.g., 7 days] and receive a complimentary [Add a perk, e.g., bottle of champagne, a spa treatment upgrade, or a discount on a future stay]!
Don't just dream of escaping; make it a reality. Book your stay at The Greenway Hotel & Spa today. Your paradise of relaxation is just a click away!
Click here to book your escape! [Link to Booking Page]
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Escape to Paradise: Unbelievable Luxury at CGH Residences & Spas, Oree Des Cimes, France
The Greenway Hotel & Spa: My Messy, Wonderful Mess
Alright, so I'm fresh off a long, soul-crushing flight (honestly, the pretzels were stale, the movie selection was abysmal, and my neighbour's snoring could rival a chainsaw) and finally at The Greenway Hotel & Spa. The Cotswolds, baby! Apparently, this place is supposed to be all rolling hills and posh pampering. Let's see if it lives up to the hype (spoiler alert: it mostly does, but with a few delightful bumps along the road).
Day 1: Arrival & Accidental Spa Overload
14:00: Arrival & Check-In (and the Great Luggage Debacle of '24): Okay, the drive through the Cotswolds was stunning. Seriously, like a postcard. Little stone villages, sheep everywhere, it was all a bit twee, but in the best possible way. Then I pull up to the hotel, all grand and imposing, and immediately feel underdressed in my travel sweats. (Note to self: pack actual clothes next time.) The valet guy, all smooth-talking charm, takes my car. Then… the luggage. Remember those heavy bags I mentioned? He struggled. Like, genuinely struggled. I offered to help, but he gave me this look that said, "Lady, just let me do my job," which I respected. Finally, they were upstairs. The room? Stunning. Four-poster bed, fireplace, view of the gardens. I almost cried. (In a good way, obviously.)
15:00: Spa Time (and the Great Towel Misunderstanding): Right, so, Spa Day! I’m a sucker for a good massage. The spa itself is gorgeous. Serene. All hushed tones and gentle music. I get ushered into this changing room that feels like a movie set – fluffy robes, slippers the size of canoes… I’m fumbling, trying to figure out how to tie the damn robe, when I realise… I’m completely naked under it. And the lady next to me, who’s probably a Duchess or something, just gives me this knowing, slightly amused smile. Oh, the indignity! The massage? Divine. So good, in fact, I might have drooled a little. (Don't tell anyone!) Afterwards, I head to the jacuzzi, get cozy in it, and I realize I forgot my towel in the changing room. I decide to just sit and enjoy the hot water, my skin feels like it's melting.
17:00: Afternoon Tea (and the Scone Sabotage): Oh, afternoon tea. A quintessential British experience. Or so I thought. The sandwiches were delicate, the cakes were pretty, the tea was… well, tea. But the scones. The scones. They were hard on the outside, almost raw in the middle. Honestly, I've had better scones at a gas station. My inner food critic was raging. I discreetly tried to crumble the scone with a spoon, then gave up and just went for the jam and cream. (The jam, at least, was excellent.) I'm not sure if I did it right, if I'd have to eat it with a fork and knife or by hand, but… It was delicious.
19:00: Dinner at The Cedar Restaurant (or, Where I Fell in Love with Roasted Beetroot): The Cedar restaurant is fantastic! I loved the ambience and the service. We had amazing food, the lamb was great, the seabass was divine and the presentation was impeccable. We even saw some people with dogs. The hotel is a little bit dog-friendly, so that was a plus. I'm usually not that into those, but I do love beetroot, so I was extremely impressed by their roasted beetroot and horseradish starter.
Day 2: Cotswold Charm & Accidental Hiking (and the "Incident" at the Pub)
09:00: Breakfast & Panic over the Missing iPhone: Breakfast in the hotel conservatory. Absolutely gorgeous. Sunlight streaming in, birds chirping, the whole shebang. Then… disaster. Where's my phone? Panic sets in. I've left it somewhere, lost it, I'm going to lose all my photos, who am I without my phone?! I'm frantically retracing my steps, thinking the worst. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I find it. It was… in my bathrobe pocket. Sigh of relief. Lesson learned: Don't leave things in bathrobe pockets.
10:00: Hiring a Car to Explore, and Getting Lost (Very Lost): I decide to hire a cute little car to explore the Cotswolds. It starts off beautifully. Picturesque villages, quaint shops, charming pubs. Then my "sense of direction" kicks in. Suddenly, I'm on a tiny, winding lane, going uphill, with sheep staring me down, and absolutely no idea where I am. I get a call from the hotel asking if I'm going to check out, I just said "I don't know, I'm lost" - I was still driving and they just hang up. I pull over, have a mini-meltdown, and finally, after what feels like hours, find my way back to the main road. My GPS was useless. I probably should have bought a map.
12:00: Lunch at a Pub (and the Great Pub Incident): I decide to brave a pub. The quintessential British experience, right? Wrong. I order a pint of ale, something I'd never done before, and a burger. The ale was… not to my taste. But I tried to be brave, and try to act like a local and enjoy the experience, and I was having fun until it happened. I accidentally knocked over a pint of beer. Not onto the table. Not onto the floor. Onto a very important-looking gentleman’s lap. He was not amused. He looked up at me, his face contorted in a look of pure, unadulterated fury. I stammered an apology, ran out of the pub, and didn't turn back. Note to self: Learn to hold your beer, and to navigate pubs a little better.
15:00: A Long Walk. I returned to the city. I went for a long walk. I had my book, my headphones, and got lost in the beauty of the town. I spent hours walking around, and I finally found a spot from where I could see the whole city.
Day 3: Departure (and a Tiny Bit of Regret)
09:00: A final breakfast (and a bittersweet farewell): Time to check out. I'm actually sad to leave. Even with the scone sabotage, the missing phone, and the pub incident, this place has grown on me. The hotel staff were brilliant. The food was mostly delicious. The spa was heavenly. The Cotswolds… well, they've got a certain charm, even if they occasionally try to trip you up with their little country roads.
10:00: Departure and Final Thoughts (plus the Great Airport Taxi Rage): The check-out was smooth, thankfully. The valet guy, bless him, had a smile. I was feeling like I'd actually learned a thing or two. Until I got into the airport taxi. Traffic was horrendous. The taxi driver was in a rage, swearing at other drivers. I just sat there, silently praying to make it to my flight on time. We did, just. As I walked through the airport, totally exhausted, I couldn’t help but smile. The Greenway Hotel & Spa was a mess. A beautiful, slightly chaotic, utterly unforgettable mess. And I'd do it all again.
Escape to Paradise: The Greenway Hotel & Spa - Oh, the Glorious Mess! (And Maybe Some Questions Answered)
Alright, spill the tea. Is The Greenway *really* paradise? Because, let's be honest, Instagram lies.
Okay, so "paradise"... that's a big word. It wasn’t *perfect*, okay? Like, the drive there? Sat Nav insisted on taking me down a lane that was basically a goat track. Almost lost a wing mirror. And the weather? British. Slight drizzle. *Always*. But... yeah. It was pretty darn close. The building itself is stunning. Think fairytale castle, slightly overgrown, but in the best possible way. And the spa? Oh. My. God. I spent an hour in the jacuzzi muttering "This is living!" to myself. So, paradise? Probably not, but a bloody good escape? Absolutely. Just don't expect clear skies and unicorns. Unless... you know, you *really* want to bring your own. No judgment.
The rooms... are they actually as luxurious as they look online? (Because I've seen some bait and switch situations, people!)
Okay, the rooms. Here's the deal. My room was… well, it wasn't the biggest, that’s for sure. I think I could have swung a cat (metaphorically! I’m an animal lover!), but it might have brushed the chandelier. But the bed? Oh heavens, the BED. It was like sleeping on a cloud, a fluffy, incredibly supportive cloud. And the bathroom? Gorgeous. Huge bathtub. Lovely toiletries that didn't smell like cheap perfume. I may have stolen a few, just saying. So, luxurious? Yes. Ginormous? Potentially not. But you *will* feel pampered. Trust me. After my shower, my skin felt like silk. (Okay, so maybe that’s the Prosecco talking a bit.)
The Spa. Tell me EVERYTHING. I need the nitty gritty: Treatments, facilities, the vibe... and are the robes as fluffy as they look? (This is CRUCIAL.)
Okay, buckle up, because we’re diving DEEP into the spa. This is where The Greenway *really* shines. Facilities? Indoor pool (seriously beautiful, with those arched windows!), sauna, steam room, a relaxation room that was practically begging for napping. I spent a LONG time in that relaxation room, sipping herbal tea and pretending to be a goddess. The robes? ARE. MAGNIFICENT. Like, seriously, I’m contemplating taking one as a souvenir. (Just kidding… mostly). The treatments... I had a massage. The therapist's hands were magic. I think I actually levitated a little. It was so good. Okay, fine, I'm embellishing. But it was *so* good. I nearly cried. In a good way! And the vibe? Relaxed, plush, and a little bit smug, in a good way. You'll find yourself saying "Ahhh" a lot. Trust me. I had a minor issue though, the lockers are a bit fiddly. I nearly locked myself in a locker. That was a close one!
Right, now for the *important* stuff: The food. Is it worth the price tag? And what if I'm wearing my stretchiest trousers...?
The food... okay, this is where it gets interesting. Yes, it’s expensive. Prepare your bank account. However, the food is generally superb. Breakfast? Glorious. Smoked salmon and creamy scrambled eggs? Yes, please. Dinner? The restaurant itself is stunning, all candlelight and linen tablecloths. The menu is fancy-pants, and the dishes? Beautifully presented and mostly delicious. I had a slight hiccup, though. This one dish, the lamb, arrived… well, let’s just say it was a bit *rare*. I'm not normally one to complain, but I sent it back. The waiter was mortified. (He was very charming, though!) They brought me a replacement in record time, and it was perfect. So, yes, worth it, in my opinion (especially if you love the idea of a Michelin-starred experience). And your stretchiest trousers? Absolutely required. You'll need them. Trust me. And the wine list? Oh dear...
Is there anything that actually, completely, utterly annoyed you? Gotta be honest.
Okay, honest moment: the Wi-Fi was a bit… temperamental. Kept dropping out. Which was mildly irritating when I was trying to upload a particularly flattering selfie to Instagram (priorities, people!). And there was the tiny issue of finding my room in the first place. The corridors are a maze! Seriously, I wandered around for a good ten minutes, feeling utterly lost and slightly ridiculous, before finally finding the right door. The signage could definitely be better. And... *deep breath*... the price of a bottle of water in the mini-bar. Seriously? Highway robbery! But look, these were minor niggles. Honestly. The overall experience was so wonderful, so uplifting, so… spa-tastic, that it’s easy to overlook them. Okay, fine, and the parking was a bit tight, especially at peak times. But I mean, at least there *was* parking, right?
Would you go back? Spill the beans!
Would I go back to The Greenway? In a heartbeat. In fact, I'm already mentally planning my return. I mean, I'm already saving up. It’s not cheap, let's be honest. But it's a splurge that's genuinely worth it. The location, the vibe, the spa, the ridiculous feeling of being utterly pampered… it’s addictive. So, yes. Absolutely yes. Just need to find a really good sale on fluffy robes… anyone got any leads? And maybe, just maybe, I'll train the cat to open the mini-bar. (Joking!… mostly.) Go. Just go.
